Oh dear, the NME has come up with a truly ghastly list of possible Mercury nominations:
Candie Payne - 'I Wish I Could Have Loved You More'
Jarvis Cocker - 'Jarvis'
Jamie T - 'Panic Prevention'
Arctic Monkeys - 'Favourite Worst Nightmare'
Amy Winehouse - 'Back To Black'
Klaxons - 'Myths Of The Near Future'
Gruff Rhys - 'Candylion'
Razorlight - 'Razorlight'
Dizzee Rascal - 'Maths & English'
Editors - 'An End Has A Start'
The Cribs - 'Men's Needs, Women's Needs, Whatever'
Maps - 'We Can Create'
The Enemy - 'We'll Live And Die in These Towns'
The View - 'Hats Off To The Buskers'
The Twang - 'Love It When I Feel Like This'
Bat For Lashes - 'Fur And Gold'
Cherry Ghost - 'Thirst For Romance'
Kasabian - 'Empire'
Mika - 'Life In Cartoon Motion'
Patrick Wolf - 'The Magic Position'
The Chemical Brothers - 'We Are The Night'
Joss Stone - 'Introducing Joss Stone'
1990s - 'Cookies'
Kaiser Chiefs - 'Yours Truly Angry Mob'
Calvin Harris - 'I Created Disco'
Just Jack - 'Overtones'
Well, credit to them for remembering Patrick Wolf and Bat For Lashes, both of which had slipped my mind - but the rest of it? The Enemy, The View, The Twang, The Cribs - not only is there a common theme in the lack of imagination in their monikers, there's also a common thread in their complete lack of musical inspiration. British guitar music is currently in the worst state it's ever been in during my lifetime if this is the best we have to offer the world. I couldn't really resent a nomination for Jarvis, even if that album was nowhere near as good as I'd hoped. Pitiful copyists Editors can go home, as can the ludicrously overrated Joss Stone. Calvin Harris' embarrassing appropriation of electro-pop merely has novelty value - it can't possibly win a major prize, can it? I'm also wondering if the surprisingly well received Happy Mondays comeback album might sneak a nomination, even if the public don't seem to care for it.